How fast does time fly? When I became a Mom, I dedicated all of my time to the baby thus the lack of new posts in the last few months. But hey, I’m a new Mommy who’s enjoying every bit – yes, even the short sleeping hours – of this amazing gift called motherhood.
If you read my birth story, you’ll know that I had a long labour that ended in a C-section. And worse, I had to leave Liam in the hospital because he contracted an infection due to meconium staining and had to undergo a 7-day antibiotic treatment. I still remember the day when I was in the nursery to say goodbye to him and as if knowing that I’ll be leaving without him, he became so clingy to me and just wanted to sleep in my arms. It was definitely one of the hardest things I had to do in my life and I was in tears. But I also knew that I had to do it so he could get better and I also needed to rest at home to recover from my long labour and C-section.
I was so excited when he was finally discharged and I got to take him home. I already knew that I would be sleep deprived but not having enough sleep when you have an aching wound is definitely harder than I thought. He would wake up almost every two hours to nurse so I had to get up, which was very hard to do because of my wound, and feed him since aside from breastfeeding, he would drink from the bottle after. I remembered how tiring it was and there were times when I felt like a big failure because he wouldn’t stop crying and I didn’t know what to do. Good thing, I have the nanny to help me and my Mom and Grandma to guide me. I always thought that it would be easier since I am a nurse and I also took care of my cousins before, but when it’s already your child, it’s totally different.
I have no complains though because Liam is a very good baby. When he was able to establish his routine, I already knew the times he needed to nurse and he would just sleep most of the time. He is also not a fussy baby and wouldn’t even cry even if he pooped or his diaper is already full. He is very allergic, however, so we needed to switch him to a hypoallergenic milk and all the products that we use like his soap, shampoo and even his laundry detergent are all for sensitive skin since he would have rashes due to irritation.
The first month with Liam was all about adjustments. Being a new Mom, I had to take it all in and make sure that took care of myself too. Having a C-section isn’t easy because of the pain, the longer recovery and the strain on your body. I admit, there were times when I questioned myself if I was doing things right and being an OC Mom, I would often feel that I wasn’t doing enough for Liam. But with the help of family and friends, I realised that it’s okay to not be perfect as long as you’re doing your best. There were times when I wanted to carry Liam but I couldn’t for a long time because my wound would hurt, so I had to give him to the nanny. It made me feel so bad but I thought that I needed to rest and recover so I could be better for Liam.
It has been an amazing journey so far and I am loving every moment with the little man. And I know it will only get better from here because I already have someone to share memories with. I am excited!